Decsions, Decisions, Dicisions.

With good intention
I find that I decide to do a lot of things.I decide that I want to loose weight. So I decided to cut out all the good food in my diet and start to eat healthier, make better choices, and even attempt to so a little working out. However, this always proves to be such a challenge and I bend to my will. My decision to loose weight just ends up being "I just want to be healthy"; which is really just a cop out and gets me out of the obligatory work out. I might also decided that I want to get my life in order. Be a better roommate, daughter, student, friend, etc. These decisions often start out with great furvor.. but someting always slows me down, and I fall back into my old ways.
 What is it that makes me decided in the first place?
I might have a moment of awakening, see something or someone that inspieres need for some sort of change, or I might just forcefully make a desicison. I cold be in the shower one morning and take a look at my body. I think to myself.. I can see the potential.. I will work for the end result. Or I might see someones body and attempt to attain a similar physique. Or, as it might most often be.. I will want a guy that requires that I be smaller... flash forward to my ass in the gym mentally verbalizing his name.
 Will Power or lack there of
No matter which way I come to this moment of wreckoning, it almost always ends up the same.So I always come to defeat. Something makes me eat, or spend money, or sleep in. I can never keep on one track. I feel like I need some kind of accountability partner; a constant that will always keep me in check.
So for the purposes of this 3rd restart of this damn blog,
I will try
There isnt anything reminding me to write or even continue. I just know that I want to be able to do something more productive with my down time, since I am not doing homework. I have so much in my, that I just need to get it out at times. Hopefully this is the perfect outlet. Anyone can blog, why cant I. I need to focus my thoughts and put them down in a simple order.

now I am going to get a cookie.